What is the worst stereotypical cheap ALH TDI guy damage and bodge you've seen?

Randomhomelesstdibeetlegu

Veteran Member
Joined
May 12, 2022
Location
Stinking onion land
TDI
00 ALH Tdi
I'll start this fun thread with my first TDI. I picked up a junkyard ready special because I am/was that poor.

ALH beetle:

A Rubber foot for a cane over the broken dipstick tube remnants and metal dipstick sleeve. The broken dipstick in the trunk was there to check the oil. Vacuum leak much? Savings? $15. Cost? Your motor.

2. Blown hood strut. PVC pipe in trunk cut to length to avoid paying $6 for a hood strut.

3. Two bricks in the trunk to save on two parking brake cables. Total savings? $30

4. Business card over the ABS light. Savings? $15 for an AC pressure switch that when it shorts takes out the ABS as it's fused on the same current path.

5. Timing belt job with original pulleys and idlers at 210k. Savings? $150 maybe? Risk...... Yeah.......

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT AS I FOUND IT ALL! I mean look.... Savings are great..... Pennywise pound foolish.
 

oilhammer

Certified Volkswagen Nut & Vendor
Joined
Dec 11, 2001
Location
outside St Louis, MO
TDI
There are just too many to list....
Wasn't a Volkswagen, but I had a Mazda 323 come in once that had a hole cut in the hood right above the oil cap. Car was crashed (minor) in a way that prevented the hood release from working... when the oil light started flickering, the guy just took a side grinder and cut a flap in the hood around where he though the oil fill cap was and peeled it over. Oddly enough, there was not a second hole for the dipstick. I assume he just guessed, LOL...

We had a Firebird come in (Illinois car, so a crap pile... no safety inspections) that had little C-clamps over three of the four brake hoses because the calipers blew the pistons out when the brakes went metal to metal. It was literally stopping (barely) on one front brake... and the tire was burnt bald from always locking up and had flat spots all over it.

Had a W210 MB come in with a coat hanger holding one of the upper ball joints in its socket. Also from Illinois.

Honda has issues with their drive axles breaking (literally, the axle itself snaps)... someone had slid a piece of pipe over the two broken stumps, drilled some holes in it, and jammed about 10 little Allen set-screws in it to hold it together.

Ford Twin-I-beam E-van with radius arm bushings so wiped out they were GONE and the radius arms were pounding the holes out of the brackets so they took two ratchet straps and strapped the radius arms up against the frame.

Had some broad drop an Impala off with a request for an alignment, only to find the steering rack was internally BROKEN and she actually tried to drive the car away like that (no money honey), pulled out into traffic and couldn't right itself... we let her sit out there until the cops came, told them she insisted on taking the car. She got ticketed and the car was towed away.
 

Mozambiquer

Vendor , w/Business number
Joined
Mar 21, 2015
Location
Versailles Missouri
TDI
2004 VW Touareg V10 TDI, 2012 Audi Q7 V6 TDI, 1998 VW Jetta TDI. 1982 VW Rabbit pickup, 2001 VW Jetta TDI, 2005 VW Passat wagon TDI X3, 2001 VW golf TDI, 1980 VW rabbit pickup,
Not a vw TDI, but we just finished with a truck that really showed how a missing a stitch can cost ten...
Customer had us tow in their Chevy c7 for a clutch job. They deliver lumber for menards, but are a private contractor.
We found that the transmission was stuck in in high range, which was why they burnt the second clutch in three months up.
The flywheel teeth were chewed up by the worn out starter, and the friction surface was cracked from the heat.
We recommended a flywheel and a new starter, but they said they were spending enough money on it, so they would just do the flywheel.
A month later they called and said the starter went out... ok, emergency service call plus going to pick up a starter, etc. I got down there, pulled the starter off and the flywheel teeth were ground off by the failed starter drive. I really felt like saying "I told you so" and giving him a lecture, but I refrained, but told him that this would not work. He begged me to install the starter just to see if it would work, as he was afraid of losing his contract. Put it on and as I had said, it didn't work... so, then it was a tow and replace the flywheel again... saving that $400 must have felt really nice.
The same customer wanted to install a used high pressure fuel pump on another truck. If he loses his contract, it's his own fault, lol.
 

Diesel Fumes

Veteran Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2008
Location
Creston, bc
TDI
2003 alh tdi 5 speed
Talk about inefficient. I used a busted 1/4 of a cinderblock; it fits the tire profile better and you only have carry one piece of masonry!
I carry a couple bricks in my car (the park brake doesn't work and no I'm not fixing it). In case I need to chalk a wheel when changing a tire or something. I don't use the bricks as an actual park brake

I'm probably guilty of many embarrassing car related things. I have electrical tape over a cel and brake pad light. (no I'm not addressing any of these warning lights)

My car is safe and concerning things that matter I try to fix. My hood strut is broke but life hack, if it's still connected at the bottom it can be used as a prop rod on the bottom of the hood. I'm not fixing this either.

I drive a 20 year old vw with 500k km on it. I'm not spending money to fix things that I don't need to.
 

IndigoBlueWagon

TDIClub Enthusiast, Principal IDParts, Vendor , w/
Joined
Aug 16, 2004
Location
South of Boston
TDI
'97 Passat, '99.5 Golf, '02 Jetta Wagon, '15 GSW
Where I live your car would fail state inspection for several reasons. You don't have inspections in BC?

My rule with old TDIs is to fix everything that breaks as soon as possible. That way the issues don't accumulate and become overwhelming. And it allows you to make a reasonable choice of whether or not to make a major repair based on the cost of that repair alone, not all the other things that may be broken on the car.
 

Diesel Fumes

Veteran Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2008
Location
Creston, bc
TDI
2003 alh tdi 5 speed
Where I live your car would fail state inspection for several reasons. You don't have inspections in BC?

My rule with old TDIs is to fix everything that breaks as soon as possible. That way the issues don't accumulate and become overwhelming. And it allows you to make a reasonable choice of whether or not to make a major repair based on the cost of that repair alone, not all the other things that may be broken on the car.
Its fair enough. And the car is plated in Alberta. No inspections there. I do fix things that are a concern. I don't park on hills. There's a cel because the car has no mufflers or cats. Brake pad light because Installed pads with no sensors. And hood prop... It was always broke.

I should probably fix the brakes.
 

IndigoBlueWagon

TDIClub Enthusiast, Principal IDParts, Vendor , w/
Joined
Aug 16, 2004
Location
South of Boston
TDI
'97 Passat, '99.5 Golf, '02 Jetta Wagon, '15 GSW
If you have an '03 there's nothing in the exhaust that will throw a CEL. Must be something else. And you can turn off the brake pad sensor with VCDS: I did that years ago.
 

Randomhomelesstdibeetlegu

Veteran Member
Joined
May 12, 2022
Location
Stinking onion land
TDI
00 ALH Tdi
I carry a couple bricks in my car (the park brake doesn't work and no I'm not fixing it). In case I need to chalk a wheel when changing a tire or something. I don't use the bricks as an actual park brake

I'm probably guilty of many embarrassing car related things. I have electrical tape over a cel and brake pad light. (no I'm not addressing any of these warning lights)

My car is safe and concerning things that matter I try to fix. My hood strut is broke but life hack, if it's still connected at the bottom it can be used as a prop rod on the bottom of the hood. I'm not fixing this either.

I drive a 20 year old vw with 500k km on it. I'm not spending money to fix things that I don't need to.

You're that guy! 😁
 

Diesel Fumes

Veteran Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2008
Location
Creston, bc
TDI
2003 alh tdi 5 speed
You're that guy! 😁
I'm totally that guy yes. I have trouble thinking of what else is wrong with my car but decide to live with. Also my dipstick tube is broke and it's held on with a zip tie and electrical tape. You need to hold the tube as you pull the dipstick out otherwise the tube will come off at the same time. It's a bit of a PITA. but at this point it's part of what makes the car unique.

I do important stuff like change timing belt before its actually due. Changed the brake fluid regularly. Nearly everything works. Sometimes the car thinks the doors are open when they really aren't. I know how to fix this I'm just too cheap and lazy to do it. I don't see the point of fixing it. VW's always give me these stupid little issues. Mayne yours or oilhammers or whoever's doesn't but I always buy crap boxes it seems. But they have never let me down!
 

Mozambiquer

Vendor , w/Business number
Joined
Mar 21, 2015
Location
Versailles Missouri
TDI
2004 VW Touareg V10 TDI, 2012 Audi Q7 V6 TDI, 1998 VW Jetta TDI. 1982 VW Rabbit pickup, 2001 VW Jetta TDI, 2005 VW Passat wagon TDI X3, 2001 VW golf TDI, 1980 VW rabbit pickup,
Can't blame him for this one. They never should have replaced the metal rod that never fails with a gas tube that will eventually go bad, and drop the hood on your head when you least expect it.
I wouldn't say never fails... I've had plenty get caught by the wind, whip up and then the hood slammed shut, or others which bent the rod. I like the struts better.
I've bought several vehicles that were in sad shape... like my first passat wagon. Got it for $1000 with a failed egr cooler. All of the dash lights were on, the blower motor didn't work the instrument cluster backlights didn't work because the dimmer switch was burnt up. Only a couple of the windows worked, the hatch release did not work, the door locks didn't work, it had a bent rim, the hood shock was bad and so it was being used as a prop, which created a dent in the hood from the inside...
I went through one by one fixing each thing... it had the wrong clock spring, as the esp ones were more expensive, bad ccm, plugged sunroof drains, etc. I replaced the hood shock as one of the first things.
Now it's my ugly beater, especially after hitting a few more deer, but, knock on wood, no warning lights, it runs and drives, and is now set up with lights and sirens for expedited emergency purposes.
It's got dents,different colored body panels, a sagging headliner and way too much junk in it, but it works great.
 

Nuje

Top Post Dawg
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Location
Island near Vancouver
TDI
2015 Sportwagen; Golf GLS 2002 (swap from 2L gas); 2016 A3 e-tron
Hmm had no idea [one could disable brake pad sensor]. That's just what I was told when I bought the car. Guess I should scan it again haha.
VCDS, Module 17 - Instruments - CODING is where you can turn on/off the brake pad sensor warning (along with any other options you don't have or don't want to be alerted to).

I have my current car coded to cars to 04132 (washer fluid warning only = 04; 24hr clock because....VW :D = 1; no service interval = 3; "normal" impulse multiplier = 2 ==> 04132)
Here's the instructions from Ross-Tech:
Write down the existing coding for future reference.

Look at the first two digits in the coding. Add the values for the options together to get the correct coding.

00 - No available equipment
+01 - Brakepad wear sensor warning active
+02 - Seatbelt warning active
+04 - Washer fluid level warning active
+08 = Seatbelt Warning active (NAR only)
+10 = Seatbelt Warning Driver & Passenger active (NAR only)
+16 = Secondary Display (Radio/Navigation) active

Look at the third digit in the coding (Market version):

1 - "EU" 24 hour clock (may result in odometer in km in 2002+ clusters)
2 - "USA" 12 hour clock
3 - "Canada" 12 hour clock (may result in odometer in km in 2002+ clusters)
"The third digit in the code is the country code. The codes are:
4 - "UK" 24 hour clock (should result in odometer in miles)
5 - Japan
6 - Saudi Arabia
7 - Australia

Look at the fourth digit in the coding (Cylinders):

3 - No Service Interval (2002+ models)
4 - 4-cylinder (1999-2001 models)
6 - 6-cylinder (1999-2001 models)

Look at the fifth digit in the coding (Distance impulse multiplier):

2 - 3538
4 - 3648 (some 2002+ models)

So, if you want to have Seatbelt warning and washer fluid warning only in a 2001 Canadian 6-cylinder vehicle, (add 00+02+04 = 06),3,6,2 = 06362.
 

J_dude

Veteran Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Location
SK Canada
TDI
2003 1.9l “Jedi”
When I bought my TDI the aftermarket stereo had napkins wedged in around it to hold it in place in the dash.
Also the headliner would get wet when it rained, no sunroof but the windshield seal was leaking.
 

Diesel Fumes

Veteran Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2008
Location
Creston, bc
TDI
2003 alh tdi 5 speed
But the hood struts are silly cheap.... I mean, really.... LOL. Also, they don't get in the way when you are doing things under the hood. Try pulling the lock carrier assembly off the NCS or NMS with the stupid prop rod.... major pain.
30 bucks for the strut. Yea it's not much. But it's $0 to use the broken strut as a prop rod. Some people don't understand my level of frugality
 

Nuje

Top Post Dawg
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Location
Island near Vancouver
TDI
2015 Sportwagen; Golf GLS 2002 (swap from 2L gas); 2016 A3 e-tron
When I bought my TDI the aftermarket stereo had napkins wedged in around it to hold it in place in the dash.
What kind of hack is that?! I at least use a little dab or Goop epoxy in the corners to hold my android head unit in place. :)
 

Nuje

Top Post Dawg
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Location
Island near Vancouver
TDI
2015 Sportwagen; Golf GLS 2002 (swap from 2L gas); 2016 A3 e-tron
Just worked on a car that had two of the three ball-joint captive nuts on the retaining plate stripped, so the previous "mechanic" had use the same length of bolt and just turned an additional M8 nut on top of the existing captive nuts....which barely grabbed any threads - certainly not enough to get the ~50Nm torque spec on it.

I mean, on the one hand, I can kinda see "whaddya gonna do when you don't have proper replacement parts", but on something vital like that....yikes!
 

Nuje

Top Post Dawg
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Location
Island near Vancouver
TDI
2015 Sportwagen; Golf GLS 2002 (swap from 2L gas); 2016 A3 e-tron
While it's not a massive quantity of money on something like a hood strut, having access to "distributor"-level pricing vs. what an "off-the-street customer" pays is not insignificant.
At our regional [something like Autozone], I was ordering up rotors and pads for a car - $220; gave them my customer number and it was almost $100 less (like $125 or so).
In addition to frugality, there's also the "wait - I *KNOW* that this part can be had for $x; no ****ing way I'm gonna pay 3x for it here!" Like, it's only a few dollars, but I'd never pay $5 for a can of Coke. Sometimes it's not the actual dollars, but rather the "I'm not gonna be a sucker".
 

sriracha

Veteran Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2014
Location
805
TDI
2005 Jetta Wagon 5mt, 1982 Rabbit truck (gas)
The previous owner of my 05 Wagon fixed the cracked and broken under-dash plastic panels with tape. Broken tabs were literally replaced with tape. I found better replacement panels at the Pick-n-Pull and reinforced all of the structural tabs with JB Weld. Problem fixed right.
 

Randomhomelesstdibeetlegu

Veteran Member
Joined
May 12, 2022
Location
Stinking onion land
TDI
00 ALH Tdi
It is usually after you fix something simple that you realize how much time was spent and wasted avoiding doing it or working around the problem.

The PVC hood prop lasted a week. I knocked it out accidentally 4x with hood smashing head before I paid 6 bucks for a stabilus hood strut.

When you're yanking on ancient stuck components and am elbow knocks it out and cracks your head? Yeah I'll pay 6 bucks to avoid that. But note it took 4x before I did that. 🤮
 

Randomhomelesstdibeetlegu

Veteran Member
Joined
May 12, 2022
Location
Stinking onion land
TDI
00 ALH Tdi
Wasn't a Volkswagen, but I had a Mazda 323 come in once that had a hole cut in the hood right above the oil cap. Car was crashed (minor) in a way that prevented the hood release from working... when the oil light started flickering, the guy just took a side grinder and cut a flap in the hood around where he though the oil fill cap was and peeled it over. Oddly enough, there was not a second hole for the dipstick. I assume he just guessed, LOL...

We had a Firebird come in (Illinois car, so a crap pile... no safety inspections) that had little C-clamps over three of the four brake hoses because the calipers blew the pistons out when the brakes went metal to metal. It was literally stopping (barely) on one front brake... and the tire was burnt bald from always locking up and had flat spots all over it.

Had a W210 MB come in with a coat hanger holding one of the upper ball joints in its socket. Also from Illinois.

Honda has issues with their drive axles breaking (literally, the axle itself snaps)... someone had slid a piece of pipe over the two broken stumps, drilled some holes in it, and jammed about 10 little Allen set-screws in it to hold it together.

Ford Twin-I-beam E-van with radius arm bushings so wiped out they were GONE and the radius arms were pounding the holes out of the brackets so they took two ratchet straps and strapped the radius arms up against the frame.

Had some broad drop an Impala off with a request for an alignment, only to find the steering rack was internally BROKEN and she actually tried to drive the car away like that (no money honey), pulled out into traffic and couldn't right itself... we let her sit out there until the cops came, told them she insisted on taking the car. She got ticketed and the car was towed away.

Gold. Illinois cars ARE the worst. My poverty beetle is one but ... No holes yet and surprisingly very solid underneath minor surface.

Everything else was trash!
 

Mozambiquer

Vendor , w/Business number
Joined
Mar 21, 2015
Location
Versailles Missouri
TDI
2004 VW Touareg V10 TDI, 2012 Audi Q7 V6 TDI, 1998 VW Jetta TDI. 1982 VW Rabbit pickup, 2001 VW Jetta TDI, 2005 VW Passat wagon TDI X3, 2001 VW golf TDI, 1980 VW rabbit pickup,
Wasn't a Volkswagen, but I had a Mazda 323 come in once that had a hole cut in the hood right above the oil cap. Car was crashed (minor) in a way that prevented the hood release from working... when the oil light started flickering, the guy just took a side grinder and cut a flap in the hood around where he though the oil fill cap was and peeled it over. Oddly enough, there was not a second hole for the dipstick. I assume he just guessed, LOL...

We had a Firebird come in (Illinois car, so a crap pile... no safety inspections) that had little C-clamps over three of the four brake hoses because the calipers blew the pistons out when the brakes went metal to metal. It was literally stopping (barely) on one front brake... and the tire was burnt bald from always locking up and had flat spots all over it.

Had a W210 MB come in with a coat hanger holding one of the upper ball joints in its socket. Also from Illinois.

Honda has issues with their drive axles breaking (literally, the axle itself snaps)... someone had slid a piece of pipe over the two broken stumps, drilled some holes in it, and jammed about 10 little Allen set-screws in it to hold it together.

Ford Twin-I-beam E-van with radius arm bushings so wiped out they were GONE and the radius arms were pounding the holes out of the brackets so they took two ratchet straps and strapped the radius arms up against the frame.

Had some broad drop an Impala off with a request for an alignment, only to find the steering rack was internally BROKEN and she actually tried to drive the car away like that (no money honey), pulled out into traffic and couldn't right itself... we let her sit out there until the cops came, told them she insisted on taking the car. She got ticketed and the car was towed away.
I used to be against safety inspections, as I thought more people were more like me and a lot of people I knew that if something is broken, they fix it, especially if it is a safety issue...
I've since learned that that is not the case. Especially since becoming a full time mechanic, I have found myself landing in support of safety inspections, much to the dismay of my libertarian friends. Becoming a first responder has bolstered that...
 
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