The "I hope This Thread Doesn't Last Long, RICH IS BUILDING MY ENGINE AGAIN' Thread

3/12 Car arrives at Fix-Um Haus, how long til finished?


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Left Coast Resident

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<SNIP> I'll fly up, install and drive off into the sunset. Though, no one behind will see the sun setting, due to the thick clouds of soot, like Al's car! :rolleyes:
I learned from the master -- YOU.

Dave's writting a book called, "How To Soot In A Responsible Manner -- A Comprehensive Guide To All Known Efficient Techniques". I'm handling the pre-sales and the autographed copies -- contact me directly . . .
 
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dok

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Chapter 1 - Ease On In for Beginners
Chapter 2 - The WOT Approach
Chapter 3 - The Push In/Off The Throttle/Stomp It Method
Chapter 4 - Sooting Local Enforcement and Getting Away With It
Chapter 5 - Sooting Local Enforcemnet and Fighting the Fix-It Citation
Chapter 6 - Soot and Washer Spray
Chapter 7 - The Prius Repellent, Oh How They Love Diesel
Chapter 8 - Car Start-Up and the Neighbors Windows

Please edit and post suggestions. Then we can get back to the main topic...
 

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Chapter 4 -- 'Sooting Local Enforcement And Getting Away With It' will only be printed in the special 'Members Edition', available only to certified and pre-approved club members, as it contains confidential information and advanced techniques for timing the burst, anticipating the enforcement officer's breathing and movement pattern, and reading traffic flow for optimization of 'emergency lane busting' maneuvers.

It also contains a list of proven excuses in the rare event that the helicoptor is able to find you, or the officer is able to actually give chase, 'white line' everybody, and catch you. And lastly, the bonus section of Chapter 4 contains a pictorial list of 'Get Out of Jail Free' stickers and how to use them effectively. You know, the 'Member 1199 Foundation', the 'Black Rat', the 'Fire Fighter', the 'State Certified Medic' graphics, and much more.

Chapter 6 -- 'Soot and Washer Spray' is one of the best, maybe even the best in the book. It explains in detail how to 'multi-foul' even the dirtiest of cars that are tailgating you. Once you master the techniques in Chapter 6, the road will be yours, and only yours, forever. Imagine watching the rich A-hole in the tailgating BMW convertible behind you pull off the road screaming as his windshield wipers make the wet sooty mess even worse. Imagine him wiping his face with his sooty arm, and his shirt -- formerly white, now not so white -- streaking even more. He hasn't got a gun. You're safe, and more importantly, he's learned a valuable lesson in manners and interaction. You have ascended to the position of 'revered teacher'.

Chapter 9 is anticipated to be 'Sooting Convenience Stores and Other Stationary Objects', another treasure of great reading . . .
 

dok

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June 21st is fast approaching and the definitive word is.... "The car will not be done till the end of summer." - Rich
 
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dok

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So how many more timing belts, transmission swaps, BSM's, etc. before you even look at my car, Rich?

Really be nice if I didn't have to buy another car in our turberlent corrupted economy!
 

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Remember the call I got today from Elyse while we, um I mean you, were working on the car today? So I went over to Elyse's and before dinner I took a look at the dryer that wasn't working correctly. I took off the vent tube from the outside vent flashing / flapper, and I found: 8" to 10" of birds nest, and then 2" to 3" of lint. It works great now. I'll bet your car would work great if only you-know-who would start on it.

I'm told the real reason that Mr You-know-who started working on my car was that I pointed out to Marcel that I had a voodoo doll hanging from my rear view mirror the whole time, and that I was getting antsy. Just saying . . .

Oh, I remember the relevance of this post -- I saved the birds nest debris, and you can send it up there if you like. There may be birds nesting in your car by now, too.
 

Left Coast Resident

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Tweet tweet
DOKin’ Robin, Tweet Tweet
DOKin’ Robin

The engine’s in the tree tops all day long
Rich isn’t wrenchin’ – he’s singing this song

DOKin’ Robin, Tweet Tweet
DOKin’ Robin

The last time a song went so psychotically thru my head and I couldn’t get it out was when I heard DOK humming ‘I’m too Sexy for Jetta’, too sexy for my Jetta, it’s a grocery getta . . .

That’s why I usually make sure I’m not home when Dave wants to come by.
 
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dok

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Thank you. Be here all week, or till

RICHARD FINISHES MY JETTA AND READY FOR PICKUP/DELIVERY

Whichever comes last :rolleyes:
 
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