DMF mating transmission to engine tips ?

Just replaced the DMF on my MK5 Jetta. No how no way will it mate to the transmission , I`ve loosened and tightened the bell housing bolts a dozen times and always get to the point where I`m going to crack something, in fact I already have. I`ve taken it completely out once and cleaned up the female splines and checked the fit but when I get it in the car it just isnt happening... am I missing something ? Any advice is appreciated

The flywheel may have to be turned slightly to make splines match up, but I’m sure you’ve done that.

If anyone runs into the same problem just take a file and open up the very front edge of the female spline...not even 1/16 ..worked like a charm

"...and open up the very front edge of the female..."
-Mdf45 (2020)

Context is a funny thing.