True, however longevity reduction of even 50% may still net an engine that is good for a quarter million miles. It really ends up being other things that get taxed too... like the clutch, flywheel, transmission, drive axles, etc. Also, no matter the peak output of the engine, it still takes the same amount of energy to move a car down the road. Once at speed, anyway.
In the OP's case, it sounds like the tune was more of a tax on the turbocharger, and perhaps the driving habits were such that it just couldn't take it. And a turbocharger catastrophe can of course cause an engine failure, even though the engine was not the root problem.
I think some of the higher output TDI builds in A4 platform cars tend to be a chore to drive. That much torque driven through just the front wheels of a relatively light car gets to be a bit much after a while. Be it from excessive clutch pedal effort to work the extra strong clutch in charge of keeping the engine firmly linked to the transmission, or the crazy torque steer that comes on like gangbusters all at once (which is can be downright dangerous in slick conditions), or the sometimes BAD turbo lag that comes from using a much larger turbocharger.
I think part of the charm of these engines is their ability to be tuned within a reasonable window with otherwise stock components and still be reliable and no more of a challenge to drive that they originally were. Which is to say, not a challenge at all. In fact they are probably one of THE easiest manual transmission cars to drive period.