I read one and couldn't stop! Here are some clips of my favorites; Car 54, better luck next time!
KERMA
You gotta pick up the phone to get them to turn on the pump. The gal on the other end sometimes says "You know that's diesel fuel, hon?"
I feel like saying " Golly Gee Willikers, is that why all the Semis are here?"
Ksharrington
I was having a discussion with the wife about the benefits of silence when I let the fuel nozzle overflow and spray onto my clothes. I reaked of diesel fuel and was just about to walk through airport security. On the shuttle to the terminal, everyone in the bus was telling the driver that his bus was leaking diesel. (I changed pants in the bathroom before checking in.)
I could just see some bomb-sniffing german shepherd chewing at my crotch as a terminal full of people starting smacking me with laptops.
car 54
I ALWAYS get into conversations at the diesel pump! the most recent was with a 20-somthing chick driving a jacked up powerstroke! She was hot, and stated "I always come here, its cheapest and 45 cetane" !! I tried to get her number, but no luck.
SteveS
Just say, "These German cars need diesel about once a month to run properly."
And My Favorite
RiceEater
Years ago when one of my buddies purchased one of the first Dodge Cummins pick up trucks we fell into a routine where he starts up his truck and I yell that he needs a valve adjustment and he yells back "I can't hear you. I need to get my valves adjusted."
Happy Motoring everybody!