renegade39, I would recommend checking with Brown's VW in Richmond, if you want a dealership relationship. I know that's the opposite end of the Neck for you, and might be a little longer trip than running down to the beach. On the other hand, 360 through Tappahanock is a much prettier drive than 64. (It's easily as pretty as 17, I suppose)
Also, generally speaking, I have found that you are always better off being "forewarned and forearmed" with information when going in for service with any dealership, regardless of make.
I always read owner forums for every car I've ever owned. You have to do the "grain of salt" method of reading. Just because 4 different guys posted about the flux capacitor clogging on their car on the 5th Tuesday of next month doesn't necessarily mean your car will have the same problem. But you will definitely find out if there are systemic issues like the IC icing.
Going in to the dealer prepared with a little knowledge makes it easier to work with the Service Writer. Most of them, believe it or not, are not experts on fixing cars, and many times they are new to VWs and especially the particulars of dealing with TDIs. Because of this, they won't necessarily know that there is a TSB available or whether or not your vehicle is covered by a particular recall notice.
As for things like strut replacements, sometimes it is more of a case of "they don't know what they don't know." If you haven't complained of a problem with the suspension, and there is nothing on the ticket that tells the tech to inspect the struts, they generally won't do that. Most service visits are expensive enough that they are not going to "freelance" into work they were not asked to do. That puts them at risk of not getting paid, or worse, they make a mistake and mess up something--that they weren't supposed to be working on anyway--and now they're on the hook to make it right.
Can't really excuse the "leaving parts off" aspect of it. I have had my fair share of that done as well, it is very aggravating. I had that happen to me with a MKIV Jetta. The tech left the belly pan off of the car after an oil change. My dealership techs decided it was much easier for them to work on if they didn't have to keep removing this "unnecessary" (to them) piece of equip. I wound up making them replace it at their cost, and would have to look under the car after every visit to make sure they put it back on. I've also had screwdrivers left in the engine compartment, and other careless mistakes. Fortunately, however, the service has always been good other than these mistakes, and none of their mistakes were anything that resulted in a mechanical problem on the cars. They've never given me any trouble when I have to go back and get them to make things right.