My daughters 05 which was my car from new is approaching 250K. Did an engine re-build due to massive damage, bent valves from b/s failure at 160K and at that time had the TC rebuilt at Eriksons. Have done the trans fluid around every 60K,,,,,still flawless so yes, maint is important. BTW, I did the converter at 160K not because it failed but I was looking at it with the engine removed and figured, for $250, why not
Amen to that on the 60k maintenance.
The "lifetime fill" is a gimmick by VW/Audi. It's a calculated risk on their part.
First, let me point out that the auto engineers I've spoken to do actually have a hard number and time frame in mind what, exactly, constitutes a target "vehicle lifetime." And that number is 150,000 miles or 10 years, whichever comes first.
And will the vast majority of these transmissions make it to 150,000 miles without ever being serviced? Certainly. Some won't make it that far, but there are a lot of other parts that are in the same category.
But if you ask ZF, who makes these big ol 5 speeds for VW/Audi, they say the "5HP19" should be serviced every 60,000 miles.
So, the way I look at it, if you expect to get much more than 150,000 mile service life from your transmission, you should probably ignore VAG's recommendation on service and heed ZF's guidelines.
As you're finding out, these seem to last just fine when you do that little bit of preventative maintenance.